StyleNDisorderly

So it's definitely summer. Almost a month into it to be exact. And so far, it is so crazy. I haven't met so many people in my life. I work now, and softball is starting to pick back up again. Hopefully for the best. I've changed alot since school has ended. For the worst or the best? Let's just say I've changed. And whats in the past, is in the past. I hold no regrets..just the opened eye of a learning process. I can do nothing but learn from the steps I have taken. Whether they were the right or wrong choices, I chose them. And i must live with them. But again, its in the past. And im willing to move on. B/c it feels good to wake up and have not a care in the world. Only to look at the sunrise for the answers to the day. And even then, you can't predict whats going to happen. Thats the great part about life. Spontaneous things happen at any moment. It's a odd feeling. Yet I crave for it every night i lay day. B/c i know how cool it's going to be, to learn something new the next day. And this summer, is definitely about the learning process. B/c whether i want to or not, im growing up. And my senior year is approaching. I've been preparing for this year all my life. And it's around the corner. My summer fun has not ended yet. But there is a line i draw myself now. I like this new me. Actually, its the old me...it's just starting to finally shine through now.fo tru.

Spring break is over. Tomorrow we go back to school, forgetting how we spent our last week. But then again summer is almost here. About five more weeks, and I can welcome more silence into my life. Three months of silent summer days before I enter my senior year. And i know that no one reads livejournal anymore. It's more of a reason to write what i want, and nobody will see it. Because after all, all i'm really doin is repeating these words to myself. It's almost to make myself feel more comfortable in the body im possessing these days. I won't lie, i feel i haven't been the same. Haven't been acting the same, i feel i've put my beliefs behind me..and letting my needs and goals slip away. when i knew what i wanted, i would shoot for it. now i feel like i've been let down so much, its hard to rely on alot of things. so i rely on the light. the light of the sun the next morning to wake me up and present a new day. im done dwelling on the past. i say those words, but i know tonight ill cry a tear of sorrow. the sorrow that only bleeds the past. ill be truthful to myself...my heart lies in the past.

I feel like I've changed lately..The past five months haven't been the same..I've lost many friends due to crappy circumstances..and well i think ive taken it too close to heart..so i stand here tonight, changing-no going back to who i use to be..b/c im definitely not the same..but i can change how i look at things now..i miss my old self, and im saying that it is definitely coming back..no matter what. why live the way ive been? its just miserable..so im doin something about it..hopefully its for the best.

So it's wednesday..Can't wait till friday, as always..FNR. Plus theres no practice friday..hellz yea..And monday no school! its like god has touched upon me..So yeh tonight was fun, went to woodys with some softball chicks after practice..We're tryin to go every wednesday to chill out and bond with eachother..So it was hilarious. Everyone was dancin in the parking lot after we ate..Fun stuff. So i gotta get some rest..Im so frikken sore from softball. Plus KAELIN hit me in the ankle..haah jk jk..but no she really did.lol. Lata ya'll.

Tonight was a beautiful night. It wasn't cold at all. And all of a sudden, right before the sun was going down, I got this urge to go outside and just sit in silence. It was so peaceful. I finally got to go over everything that happened in 2005. Even though all those things are in the past. It's still hard to believe that that year is over. And now, a whole new one to fill up with new and hopefully great memories. So far the year is going good. And I have a feelin this guy is gonna complicate things. He's already got me distracted.

Sometimes i really wonder why I'm alone. Like what do I do to repell guys? I always lose the ones that mean the most to me. And im afraid to let myself fall again, b/c i dont want to get hurt. I set myself up for rejection..Let me forget this and move on. i want to see whats out there..im sick of bein alone. i want to be wanted back. hmm.

Happy hump day everyone..I thought it was appropiate since it is hump day and all (wednesday). So it's the middle of the week, and today we had a half day in school. That was pretty cool, math class took forever to get over with..But in Psychology we played 'telephone' and 'heads up 7 up'..We were going back to the kids within us. Haha, it was fun though. Just chillin around and not being so serious for once in school. It can take your mind off alot of things. We have exactly one week and a half to go until Christmas break. a hoot woot! haha bad thing is..finals are next week. Blah. oh well. So I can't wait till friday. B/c, it's friday. Come on people, friday nights are the best. Since the days in school are not that interesting, I'll definitly hit ya'll with the whole scoop this weekened..Peace ya'll

It's amazing how much I could dread one approaching day. So I sit here, 10:04 pm on a wednesday night. Waiting for the clock to strike midnight..In which the day will be declared as Thursday, December 1st. There's two good things this month hold: 3 week break, and New Years Eve.. I'm sure the presents help. There's only so much presents can do..Money can't buy ya love.hah. Just like the song. So, It's my first day back at school for a while..We had the five day weekend, then I was sick most of the time..And I ended up missing monday and tuesday in school. Wow did I miss alot of stuff. Work? No..more like the pc drama that follows. But I'm way to cool to put all my crap in my livejournal b/c thats what everyone else does, and I'm over it. I don't feel like being the one to list all the shitty things drama holds. I've been through it with softball, volleyball, friends, and heart breaks..It's not worth it. So December 1st might suck royally, but I'm gonna make it through with style...What else can a girl do?haha

Ehhhhh! I'm sick. I don't feel good, it sucks major! I think I have strept throate..Which is kinda a bummer. So I'm missing school tomorrow b/c the rent's told me to. And I hate that I have to miss school right after our five day weekend. But I am looking forward to our three weeks b/c that means x-mas break!!! and We have like three weeks off this year..right on doggy. So I'm looking forward to that..Friday is yet again FNR...we need to pick up again on regular schedule..So I think keeetie and me are goin to a movie then to icecream..a hoot woot...crillville might hit it up with us..right on ya'll..peace

I cut my hair...It's purty..I like it...cause it's short and spunky.haha..

Yeah, it's sunday. Oh well..Two days then we have a five day weekend!! Turkey vacation babbaay. Fun stuff. So this weekend was overall pretty awesome. Friday night me and Katie hung out on 'FNR'..we went over Beth's and Denise's house and chilled w/ them and crill (and the list goes on). Saturday night I hung out with oc..fun stuff, cuteness. And today I went to see "Walk the Line" with Bobbi, her sister, and her mom. It was soooo good. TYLER HILTON WAS IN IT AS ELVIS..omg holy hotness.haha. but good weekend, it was fun stuff. So until tuesday (on our last day in school for this week) peace!!

Tonight Keetie is coming home..yayyyy. FNR babbaay. And its finally friday. Thank goodness. Next week we have two days of school and then a five day weekend. HOLY TURKEY DAY PEOPLE! haha. So 'oc' is sooo cute. It's a nickname for a boy who i think is adorable. But i will not give away the name..b/c im keeping my pride! But ya'll have an awesome weekend. Thrice out

Uh oh...fair tomorrow.haha. going with crill, bobbi, melissa, james, josh, kendall, corina..and prolly her boyfriend rhett, haha, oh and of course Steven. It's gonna be a fun night fo sho. It's a good thing to get my mind off of school and things. Then friday my sister is coming home..yay i love fridays..katie'll be home and we have no school. Whatta good week.haha. Congrats kae on ur signing..and HAPPY BIRTHDAY RANDERS 17 YRS OLD BABBBBAAYYY!!

Ok, so I gotta myspace. I know-I know..I've crossed over..But im keeping both. I will not favor one more than the other..my myspace is www.myspace.com/kellydee16..If anyone wants it..So this week is alright..Wednesday we have no school. So I'm definitely hittin up the surf. I'm amped, it'll be a nice day to chill. So I'm looking forward to it.

My Chemical was so fucking good. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. Me and Katie got to Orlando around 2:00 and we got our hotel room and drank for awhile. Then we ate and headed to the concert. Reggie and The Full Effect played first. They were awesome. Then Alkaline Trio played-not to bad, not one of my favorite bands..Then My Chemical came on. And it was nuts in there. Me and Kate were close to the stage, so we got to see them perfectly. Frankie and Mikey were on the left side, so the whole time I was just like "ahhhhhhhhlove you".haha. And Gerard of course in the middle of the stage, Katie was like "I LOVE YOU". Him and Mikey were wearing tight black pants and we discovered Gerard has no ass what so ever. Mikey, however, has a bubble butt. It's effing hot. haha. THEY PLAYED ONE OF THEY'RE NEW SONGS FROM THEIR NEXT CD THAT COMES OUT IN MARCH!! haha, it was so good. It's called "The Enchanted". Then Reggie and the Full Effect came out during the last three songs and played with them. It was tight. My favorite part of the concert is when Gerard was like "This song is about suicide. And how it's fucking stupid. It has effected everyone of us up here on this stage, and we're putting it out here to you. Don't throw your life away, b/c you have everything to fucking live for. I know that all ya'll out there are crazy. We're all a little crazy. B/c you can't be at a My Chemical Romance concert, and not be a little fucked up in the head. But thats okay, b/c theres no way your as fucked up as these five guys up here." Aww, how sweet is that?haha. There were parts in the concert when he was like "ah you stupid mother fuckers...sorry i didn't mean that..i don't know why i said it.Put your fucking hands in the air!"
By the language, I'm sure you can tell it was a off-the-hook concert. I long for there next one...Sadness.

I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.


---I so just quoted a buffy the vampire episode..how effing kool.

Happy Birthday Steve-O..Whoa, so he's only 19? haha, interesting I must say. Okay, okay. I think he's hot. But half of ya'll don't know who he is. Woody's boys..hmm, so yeah my chemical is like two days away. OMG!!! excitement. I can't wait. Me and my sis had so much fun at the last one. I can not wait to see Gerard and the boys again. Holyhottness. They were so effin hot.haha. Plus they sounded really good live. After the concert fixing to crunk it up. Fun stuff people. I must say-not like i dont spend all my time at woody's ne ways..i may have to stop by more often.haha.

I rocked my midterms this week. Which is awesome, so now I can just sit back on my three day weekend and just chill. Speaking of 'rocking'---My Chemical is next week. That's right b****es. Excitement over load.

So tomorrow and thursday is midterms. I had to study for Algebra 2 for tomorrow. It's hard to concentrate on studying when I'm mad sick. But, the good news is friday we have no school. Three day weekend..awesome. So hopefully it'll be a 'chill' weekend. I don't think I'll still be as sick, so I'm looking forward to chilling out and watching some movies. Next week is the My Chemical concert. Effing right doggy..haha. I can't wait I'm so amped, their gonna rock. And then later on in the week, I go to halloween horror nights with Rand for her birthday. Though it'll be scerrry, it should be fun. And her ass is getting on those rollercoasters. MCR right right...